Don’t stay little, little one.

Ransom turned one this week. I had all kinds of pretty ideas that I was going to make content and do photoshoots with him, but between a serious case of croup, work, and family coming into town, it didn’t happen. Here I am two days late sitting down for what feels like the first time in a month, to reflect on my little one turning a year old.

People say things like “It just goes by so fast!” Or “Don’t grow up, just stay a baby!!” Or my personal favorite “Enjoy them now! Just wait until they’re crawling/walking/running/starting school/a teenager/getting married! It all goes by so fast.”

As per usual, I don’t really share those classic sentiments. I honestly think I’m crazy sometimes because I never feel like I’m “supposed to” about motherhood. Naturally I define how I’m “supposed to” feel as how I think other people feel about motherhood which is absurd, I realize this.

Anywayyy…. since Ransom was born all of his developments have been moving towards the direction of more independence, and I am HERE for it. I highly value independence, I’ve said this before, so I love that he crawls and I’m stoked for him to start walking. Sure, he might throw all of the books off the bookshelf and I might have to keep a close eye on him, but at least he’s entertaining himself. Messes can be cleaned up.

More that just those kind of developments, I don’t want him to stay little because I want to be his friend. The majority of a person’s life is adulthood, so even though he’s a baby now and our relationship is very parent-child, the majority of our years together on the earth will be with him as an adult — peer to peer.

I’m not afraid of him growing up, I’m not afraid of his teenage years, I don’t want him to stay a baby. I want him to grow up and be my friend and I want to walk through the difficult things in life together. Im not sad that he’s not a cuddly newborn anymore, and I wont be sad when he’s not a baby anymore. Im stoked for him, and I’m excited to find out who he will be as a man.

So don’t stay little, little one. Grow up and be big and strong and kind and loving. I can’t wait to know you as an adult, and if there is anything I can do to help you get there, I’ll do it.