On Comparison

I think us #realmoms on the inter-webs like to talk about comparison a lot. Our Instagram stories are full of anecdotal stories about how we were feeling down and then remembered not to compare ourselves to other people and their perfect children and how we found inner peace when we stopped. For literally 30 seconds. 

I think that comparison culture has absolutely skyrocketed since the advent of the internet and particularly social media. Now it’s not just the people we know personally that we compare ourselves to, it’s people we don’t even know who’s little online squares make them seen so put together and perfect. Not to mention FOMO is so real.

(Trigger warning: I’m about to get a little churchy up in here. I am a pastors wife after all, it was bound to happen.)

Here is something I realized recently: “comparison” is just a nice word for “envy.” 

oh yes, hi, hello. 

You know, envy.... it’s one of the 7 deadly sins. It’s right up there with anger, sloth, gluttony etc..  When we talk about envy as “comparison” we’re sugar coating something that is actually incredibly destructive in our lives. We’re sleeping with dragons, and we act like they’re kittens.

Envy (comparison) is an incredibly personal sin. There are no outward signs that you are indulging in envy, theres no way anyone would be able to tell when you say “OMG, I love your hair!” that you’re actually envious that they can afford to go to the hair salon and get that balayage re-done every two months. It’s packaged as a compliment, while your internal dragon smolders.

And here’s the thing about really personal sins. The only person they hurt is you. When you bring dragons home, the only house they destroy is yours, and believe me when is say, they will burn that sh*t down.

So what? Now that we’ve called out comparison for what it actually is — ENVY — what do we do with it?

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. It’s true for AA, it’s true for most things. Look your dragons in the eyeballs instead of pretending they’re not there or acting like they’re kitties, they’re dangerous. See them for what they are.

Secondly, I think the best antidote for envy is thankfulness. I honestly believe that thankfulness is one of the best paths to inner peace and joy. EVERYONE has things they can be thankful for, sometimes it just takes a little practice.